I’m Speaking Loudly

19 Sep

I wanted to do a post, something to show my support of Laurie Halse Anderson and her novel Speak. I knew if I just did a blog post it would quickly turn into an incoherent rant. So I wrote a poem. I’ve never been raped, but I almost was in university. There was a knife involved, but luckily he was too drunk and I somehow talked my way out of it. Like most I didn’t really say anything after it happened.  Well, I’m saying something now.

Speak Loudly

I won’t shut my mouth,
won’t hold the words tight
against my bruised perception
of love and sex.

I struggle enough with the thoughts and reality
of what happened without you
throwing your warped ideas
at me, at the world.

I whisper “rape” – you scream “soft porn”.

You think what happened is dirty and immoral but not for the right reasons.

It wasn’t sex –
it was violent and hurtful
quiet and quick.
It went on forever.

Hand over mouth, I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t say a word.

Now I can and I will.
I’ll speak loudly.

Head down, feet shuffling, fingers trembling, but I’ll speak.

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5 Responses to “I’m Speaking Loudly”

  1. amymckie September 20, 2010 at 7:58 am #

    What a great poem Colleen! Thank you for it, and for speaking up about Speak! I can’t wait to lend you the book.

    • lavenderlines September 20, 2010 at 8:22 am #

      I’ve actually decided to buy it Amy. 🙂

  2. steph September 20, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    Goosebumps.

    And I’m buying it too.

  3. slpmartin September 20, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    A very strong comment and poem…and an issue that warrants discussion and concern by the society at large…thanks for your post.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Tweets that mention I’m Speaking Loudly « Lavender Lines -- Topsy.com - September 19, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Carina, Colleen McKie. Colleen McKie said: My most emotional post to date. I open up and #SpeakLoudly http://wp.me/pAWn2-st […]

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