Wednesday’s Words: A WIP snippet

14 Apr

Since I kinda forgot about last week’s Wednesday’s Words, I thought instead of a poem I’d post a short snippet from one of my WIPs. A friend of mine recently told me to put myself and my writing out there, so here goes!

Detective Holmes turned and I caught his eye. He nodded to me, said a few words to the bartender and headed my way. This was an interesting turn of events. Liquid Fantasy was not a usual hang out for a cop. And the way he and the bartender talked and the way the waitresses were looking at him, it was easy enough to tell that this was not the detective’s first time at the bar.

“Hiya Detective,” I said. “What brings you here?”

“Happy birthday,” he said as a way of response. He pulled out the chair opposite me and sat down. Pulling a package out of his pocket, he set it down on the table in front of me. It was wrapped in a shiny purple paper with a silver bow on it. Kinda looked like a present. Maybe a birthday present. Which was a bit creepy. How in the Hell did he know it was my birthday? If the package was, indeed for me, that is.
I looked at the gift, then back up at him. “So.”


“Any luck finding my purse?”

He blinked at me in surprise and then shook his head. “Don’t you want to open your present?”

Okay, so it was for me. A total stranger had bought be a birthday gift. Hmmm. To be flattered or scared. I mean, he looked pretty normal. A little on the young side, but normal. Of course, I’m sure that’s been said about every murderer and stalker in history. So I guess I was leaning a bit more towards scared. And very confused.

Pulling the box towards me I kept my eyes on his to see his reaction. He looked about as confused as I was. Okay, this was beyond weird. In fact I seriously doubted it could get any weirder. So of course, it did.

Plunking down besides me, the waitress that had brought over the champagne picked up the gift and shook it. “Jesus, Deacon, I don’t know why you have to be so melodramatic. It’s not like she doesn’t know what’s in the box.” She ripped the wrapping off and stuck the bow in Detective Holmes hair. Opening up the box, she handed its contents to me.

“Tada! Ohhhh ahhhhhh. Bet you’re really surprised, eh Erin?”
I looked at the silver necklace. Hanging from it was a charm in the shape of a pentagram with a Celtic cross at its center.

“Look, I’m sure you guys are very cool.” I said standing up and setting the necklace back in the box. “But I don’t want to join a cult. Sorry. Hope your feelings aren’t too hurt. See ya.” I started walking away. “Oh yeah and Detective Holmes or whoever the Hell you are? I think I’ll just buy a new purse.” Quickly I made my way to the door.

The bartender slapped his hand down on the bar and cursed. “Fuck! She has no idea what the Hell is going on. How is that possible? She thinks we’re a freakin’ cult!”

“I don’t know,” the waitress said, getting up from the table and walking towards the bar. “Maybe she’s a bit on the slow side?”

Okay, now I was getting a bit pissed. “Excuse me Elvira, but I am NOT slow. Neither am I naïve. Out of my group of friends, I’m the last one you should have tried to recruit. Gale would have been a much better candidate.”


4 Responses to “Wednesday’s Words: A WIP snippet”

  1. Carmella April 14, 2010 at 3:05 pm #

    This is awesome, but I want more – what the hell is going on? do you have this story finished?

    Really really good. Makes me want to read more and that’s what I think a good writer does.

    • lavenderlines April 14, 2010 at 3:12 pm #

      Thanks Carmella. This one is finished and about to go through a third edit.

  2. mamajalapa April 14, 2010 at 3:18 pm #

    Um. So I LOVE it! And yes, there has to be more!

  3. Niranjana April 15, 2010 at 12:21 pm #

    Okay, you hooked me. More, please!

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